Confessions of a Blackberry Addict:
Part One
David Nour, Upcoming VP of Programs
Hi, my name is David. And I am an obsessive-compulsive productivity addict. My day often starts at 5 AM (I learned in grad school that sleep is highly overrated). My alarm clock is a Blackberry 8800, which I use each morning to check for messages, news and my calendar of events that dictates what to wear that day. My workout is comprised of MP3 files of executive book summaries or other recommended reading from my mentor and friend Alan Weiss, PhD.
These “checking rituals” of my Blackberry are not that dissimilar to acts associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, says Dr. Michael Genike, a professor of psychiatrics at Harvard Medical School. I have been known to become what is considered clinically compulsive if I haven’t completed the task of checking for new messages. Any temporary relief is soon overcome by the need to “check” again (Mrs. Nour has laid the law of not at dinner and not in the bedroom). I even sneak it in my luggage and check it secretly on vacations.
I have received a lot of advice for curbing this e-mail itch from my professional friends—everyone from time-management experts to therapists—and they have recommended the following 12-step program:
Step 1: No checking e-mails during meals. Here’s Dadism for you: “Live in the moment.” Professional moments are an opportunity to engage and many have forgotten the basic tenants of human interaction, such as eye contact, fundamental listening skills and, most importantly, how to be interesting. Family meals are the backbone of raising decent human beings. In short, the sanctity of mealtime is in direct contradiction to, and an assault on, the instantaneous checking of your e-mail.
Step 2: Don’t hide your habit from family members. If you feel like you must sneak around to check your e-mail, maybe you shouldn’t. Comments like, “Daddy, are you listening?” are clear indications that you need help. Even as a passenger, you are missing the view when your head and thumbs are buried in a 2 x 3 screen. If family members get upset when they see you “Blackberry-ing,” it’s a sign that you probably shouldn’t.
Step 3: Stop e-mailing while driving. It is fascinating to drive around Atlanta traffic on a scooter because you suddenly realize how many people genuinely believe that driving is a spectator sport. Multitasking is good at work. But Blackberry-ing while you drive? That’s bad for everyone around you. Even at red lights, walking across the street, or anything else that requires attention, checking your e-mail can be hazardous to your health.
Step 4: Don’t check it in the first hour of the day. You’ll miss the leaves, the birds and the opportunity to leisurely read The New York Times. Spend quality time with your family and proactively prioritize your pursuits for the day.
Step 5: When attending functions, leave it in the car. There is nothing worse than the thing going off in the middle of your 5-year-old’s recital. Just as bad is checking it nonstop at networking functions—an opportunity cost vs. engaging those in attendance.
Step 6: Set responsiveness boundaries. E-mail, due to its sense of immediacy, has somehow mandated in all of our lives that we must reply instantaneously. Most people are not sitting at their desks simply waiting to receive and respond to e-mails. Let people know that you’ll get back to them within 24 hours. For many, that will suffice.
Step 7: Turn it off during specific blocks of time. Just like you set responsiveness boundaries, you have to also set personal boundaries. Identify times for yourself that you will be off-line and unavailable, and stick to them!
David Nour is one of the foremost thought leaders on the quantifiable value of business relationships. A native of Iran, David came to the US with a suitcase, $100 cash, limited family ties, and no fluency in English! Now he is an author, a senior management advisor, and a featured speaker for corporate, association and academic forums, as a change agent and visionary. Contact David at 1-888-339-1333 or dnour@nourgroup.com.
